Facing the Unknown...
Winter 2014:
As the crisp wintery air brushes against my face, I kneel down on the cold snowy driveway, with glistening snow sparkling in the moonlight. With a song in my heart, I gaze up into the star filled sky. and pour out my heart to God. I always feel at peace and refreshed after a long hard day to take a "walk" with God in the evening, gazing at the sunset and watching the stars come out.
This particular evening felt different. Change is in the air, something is going to happen soon and I won’t always be here. That thought brought tears to my eyes. Some how this place was too precious to leave. “But I will always be with you, by your side.” A still small voice reminded me. With trembling hands, but peace in my heart, I go inside before the earth is clothed in darkness.
This particular evening felt different. Change is in the air, something is going to happen soon and I won’t always be here. That thought brought tears to my eyes. Some how this place was too precious to leave. “But I will always be with you, by your side.” A still small voice reminded me. With trembling hands, but peace in my heart, I go inside before the earth is clothed in darkness.
Late Spring- Early Summer 2015:
Our house was under contract! It all happened so fast. For many reasons I was thrilled, I loved the idea of being debt free, warmer weather for gardening, and being closer to my sister Abigail, and new friends. But then I had a sinking, sad feeling in my heart. Reality struck.
I wasn’t going to be living here anymore. The log cabin that we built when I was 12 years old, would not be ours much longer. The heavenly hills of New England would no longer be my home.
Three weeks away from the closing date, I walk the grounds of our land one last time. I gaze into the sunset, mentally sketching every leaf, flower, hill and mountain, as if for the last time laying eyes on this beautiful part of the country.
I will never forget this place. “Why am I having such a hard time with this move Lord? I should be thrilled with change, where's the adventures spirit I used to have? Why are my feelings the exact opposite?” You see I can go anywhere for a month or more at a time, and not be homesick for my New England home. But it’s the uncertainty of having no home to come back to in New England that makes me uneasy about the future.
With questions and tears brimming at the surface, a deep understanding and reality takes root in my heart. Often times we/I can get too attached to this world. Very well forgetting that this is not our home, we are not our own. This life is just a mere step/journey to where we are going. We as Christians are light bearers, missionaries, disciples of Christ. We’re in the world but shouldn’t be a part of it. The first step is letting go of all you know and embracing the unknown, trusting that God has great plans for you.
"Wherever I will lead you, you’ll always be in my hands. I hold the future you don’t have to worry, Just trust in me.”
Three weeks away from the closing date, I walk the grounds of our land one last time. I gaze into the sunset, mentally sketching every leaf, flower, hill and mountain, as if for the last time laying eyes on this beautiful part of the country.
I will never forget this place. “Why am I having such a hard time with this move Lord? I should be thrilled with change, where's the adventures spirit I used to have? Why are my feelings the exact opposite?” You see I can go anywhere for a month or more at a time, and not be homesick for my New England home. But it’s the uncertainty of having no home to come back to in New England that makes me uneasy about the future.
With questions and tears brimming at the surface, a deep understanding and reality takes root in my heart. Often times we/I can get too attached to this world. Very well forgetting that this is not our home, we are not our own. This life is just a mere step/journey to where we are going. We as Christians are light bearers, missionaries, disciples of Christ. We’re in the world but shouldn’t be a part of it. The first step is letting go of all you know and embracing the unknown, trusting that God has great plans for you.
"Wherever I will lead you, you’ll always be in my hands. I hold the future you don’t have to worry, Just trust in me.”
At that moment I had peace, previous thoughts of uncertainty that had crept into my mind vanished as I realized that God had my best interests at heart. No matter where I am, if that is where God has placed me, that is the best place to be. This move was in God’s plan and I must trust him more.The hymn “I’ll go where you want me to Go” struck a deeper meaning.
With Conviction I sing as I soak in the beauty all around me. As the sunsets, and God paints the sky in glorious colors, I head back to the house. With renewed thankfulness and gratitude, peace floods my heart and no matter what happens, wherever I am, or what I have to go through in this life. I’ll go and do whatever he calls me to, With my life in Jesus’ hands I have nothing to fear.
Song "Simply Trust" Written by: Kent Greve
Music by: Seth Greve
Music by: Seth Greve
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